Accelerate Through The Chaos

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all-hail-bill-nye:

totally-stab-caesar:

jennytrout:

jennytrout:

magdalenarivera:


#it is also the ‘i have a live laugh love decoration somewhere in my house’#’i have a child named caedyn’


#Wall decals about bible verses will class up any kitchen #You should come to my Thirty-One party

I can’t stop. There are too many:
#I’m the best mom on this field trip and everyone knows it #Have you read Eat, Pray, Love? #Let’s get lattes after Zumba! #Gluten causes Autism #I will have him pulled out of your class #Oh shoot, I forgot I volunteered to bring brownies to faith group tonight #We don’t let him watch more than one hour of TV a day #Stick figure family window sticker #(whispers behind hand) you’ve got to read 50 Shades of Grey
Forgive me. I am a mother, and I walk among these women every day. I have adopted their ways as a form of camouflage.

dying

ITS BACK AND IT GOT BETTER

all-hail-bill-nye:

totally-stab-caesar:

jennytrout:

jennytrout:

magdalenarivera:

#Wall decals about bible verses will class up any kitchen #You should come to my Thirty-One party

I can’t stop. There are too many:

#I’m the best mom on this field trip and everyone knows it #Have you read Eat, Pray, Love? #Let’s get lattes after Zumba! #Gluten causes Autism #I will have him pulled out of your class #Oh shoot, I forgot I volunteered to bring brownies to faith group tonight #We don’t let him watch more than one hour of TV a day #Stick figure family window sticker #(whispers behind hand) you’ve got to read 50 Shades of Grey

Forgive me. I am a mother, and I walk among these women every day. I have adopted their ways as a form of camouflage.

dying

ITS BACK AND IT GOT BETTER

(Source: tibets)

spn-fandom-breathing-heavily:

westbor0baptistchurch:

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

image

not even risking that shit

astairical:

"Fred Astaire was always a bit insecure, and he often worried that when people watched his films, they would look at Rita Hayworth’s stunning beauty, or Cyd Charisse’s long legs, or Eleanor Powell’s tap-dancing, or Ginger Rogers’ fashion sense. So, he made sure to incorporate a solo routine in every one of his films, so that at least once in the movie, all eyes would be on him." -Robert Osborne.

Fred Astaire’s solo dances, 1930’s.

overlypolitebisexual:

cat people: dogs are cool too
dog people: cats don’t feel love did you know a cat once MURDERED my MOTHER

dopalex:

officialtokyosan:

benigoat:

Press B to crouch.

This is a sneaking mission.

ON MY WAY TO FUCK YO BITCH

dopalex:

officialtokyosan:

benigoat:

Press B to crouch.

This is a sneaking mission.

ON MY WAY TO FUCK YO BITCH

doctorfvckingwho:

iconic

People always make Juliet out to be dumb in Romeo and Juliet, but I think she at least had some sense where Romeo didn't have much of any

  • Romeo: I was thinking about this chick earlier who I said I was in love with but now I love that girl over there that is very likely to either belong to my family's enemy or be close with my family's enemy as it is their party I am crashing
  • Juliet: I do not like being so young and forced into a relationship with an older man, but oh there's a cute guy more my age over there. And since he's here he must have been invited and is there for a reasonable love match for myself
  • --
  • Romeo: We should kiss right now at this party
  • Juliet: No that is a super dumb idea
  • Romeo: *kisses her anyway*
  • Juliet: That was dumb of you
  • --
  • Romeo: We should get married right now
  • Juliet: We don't know each other. Shouldn't we wait until at least a little time has passed?
  • Romeo: Like tomorrow?
  • Juliet: Sure, fine.
  • --
  • Juliet: We're married now, so we have to try and make things better between our families.
  • Romeo: Right.
  • Romeo: It seems I have killed your cousin and am now exiled.
  • --
  • Juliet: Ok so since Romeo fucked up I'm gonna fix this shit by taking a harmless sleeping liquid. He'll come and get me and we can go away together.
  • Romeo: *immediately kills himself*
  • Juliet: For fucks sake.

(Source: tykittaa)

Tonight, I watched movies with my friends and consumed four beers, half a stuffed crust pizza, a bottle of Dr. Pepper, and a small pile of candy. I have a mighty fucking need to work out tomorrow.

brinepools:

reasons I can relate to a possum:

-tired & unkempt, smells weird
-emotions ranging from “displeased” to “existential scream”
-no work ethic
-lies around looking dead when overwhelmed
-will eat trash & live amongst trash if left to own devices
-sometimes you feel bad and feed it a sandwich